Kirin Lager Beer

Japanese: キリンラガービール (KIRIN RAGAA BIIRU)

Brewery: Kirin

Style: Lager beer

ABV: 5%

Price: 207円

Strapline: “The legendary KIRIN is a symbol of “Good Luck.” Open up KIRIN today, and you’ll see what it is all about”

I need to apologise for misleading you in my entry on Kirin Classic. It seems that the standard, everyday Kirin product is not that one, but this one – Kirin Lager Beer. Hence the explanation of what a Kirin (or ‘KIRIN’) actually is. The can promised that opening it up would allow me to ‘see what it is all about’. Amazingly enough this turned out to be true. I flicked the ring pull up and instead of the hiss of carbon dioxide escaping, I was treated to the unmistakable whistle of flutes and the banging of taiko drums. The ground beneath me began to shake and a crack appeared in the floor at my feet. I heard the deepest, loudest rumble I have ever heard. It grew and grew, drowning out the music, until all of a sudden the walls of my house collapsed inwards, consumed by the fissure that had now become a vast abyss, swallowing the street and distant buildings. Out of the depths a mountain emerged, thrust upwards with the abrupt violence of a treacherous knife to the belly. I was thrown to the ground as the world behind me dropped away. I was at the top of the mountain. Lying face-down I felt the cold caress of snowflakes landing in my hair. The rumbling had stopped and the flutes had returned. I rolled over and sat up. Below me, all the way to the horizon, rippled a white ocean. I shivered in the cold. A tiny movement in the distance caught my eye. It seemed to move very slowly upwards, growing in size. It slowed and began descending in an arc – at least a mile long – down towards me. I saw a magnificent grin, a single horn, a scaly hide and a shaggy mane. The creature was twice my size and bellowed a laugh which echoed around the rocks above the precipice. As its hoofed feet touched the ground there was a terrible fluttering commotion by my left ear. I caught sight of a hawk diving out of my peripheral vision. I suddenly realised that I was holding an aubergine in my right hand. The kirin (for that was the only thing the monstrous creature could have been) continued laughing and then shouted the word “HATSUYUME!” in a booming voice, causing avalanches on distant slopes. It flicked its tail, bent its forelegs in a deep bow and then offered me a single wish for the new year.

And all I could think of was “I wish this was as good as the Kirin Classic.”

Clear Asahi

Japanese: クリアアサヒ (KURIA ASAHI)

Brewery: Asahi

Style: Happoushu lager

ABV: 5%

Price: 134円

Strapline: “Brewed from quality ingredients by using our pure cultured yeast and our advanced brewing techniques.”

So we begin. Note the price difference. I don’t know how they make this, so I have no choice but to speculate. I’m reminded of the whiff you get from cold rice that’s become a starchy mess in the bottom of a cooking pot when you’ve forgotten to wash up the night before. Perhaps resourceful Asahi has found a use for this waste product – tipping some yeast in, replacing the lid and forgetting about it again.

I suspect the reality is worse.

It’s not undrinkable. It’s just that it doesn’t really taste of anything. And since I’m not Heidegger, I am incapable of writing book-length discussions of Nothing. It’s better than bleach but not as good as old tea. Look elsewhere.

Sapporo Draught

Japanese: サッポロ生ビール黒ラベル (SAPPORO nama BIIRU kuro RABERU – Sapporo draught beer black label)

Brewery: Sapporo

Style: Lager

ABV: 5%

Price: 207円

Strapline: “The taste you will always enjoy,Sapporo draft beer gives you the relaxing and refreshing quality malt and hops. This is the beer that’s great for your good times.” [sic]

There is something distinctly Other about Sapporo. It starts with the can, which is decorated in brutalist, almost Cold War style iconography. A golden star on a black roundel, the single word “SAPPORO” with the kanji for ‘fresh’ (‘draught’ in the context of beer) looming underneath, also in gold – all on a field of white.

It’s a lager – true enough – but it is noticeably more bitter than the flagship beers of the other breweries. I am transported by the flavour to the mysterious northern city of the same name in the beautiful frozen waste of Hokkaido. I soar over the ocean and see the mountains emerge from the deep. In the summer they will erupt in green, red and purple. But it’s winter now and the snow is their lord. Below me, in the distance, I can begin to pick out the shimmering lights of Sapporo, resisting the dominion of ice. I glide closer and can see houses and people, hear the music. It beckons, and I drop further, ready to enter. I’m coming home. But as my feet are about to touch the ground the doorbell rings, my eyes open and I am back in Osaka. And it’s the bloody NHK man at the door demanding I cough up 2,000円 for my TV licence fee.

Of course, I’ve never actually been to Hokkaido, so all of the above is sheer speculation. Apart from the NHK man. That’s true. Persistent buggers too. Then again, I suppose it’s a good price for the sheer volume of bizarre that you get pumped into your living-room every evening.

To return to the point, the flavour is pretty good, especially if you are a fan of a more bitter style. For some strange reason I have consistently failed to get a good head to form and stay formed when I pour this beer, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and take responsibility for my inept pouring. It was a good way to conclude my survey of the main products of each brewery. It may be my favourite of the four (though the race is closely run), but perhaps that’s just because when I drink it I close my eyes and imagine Hokkaido.

Asahi Super Dry

Japanese: アサヒスーパードライ　（辛口） (ASAHI SUUPAA DORAI [ karakuchi (“dry taste”) ] )

Brewery: Asahi

Style: Dry lager

ABV: 5%

Price: 207円

Strapline: “Asahi Super Dry is brewed using carefully selected yeast and ingredients utilising advanced brewing techniques. Enjoy the taste and silky smoothness of Asahi Super Dry!”

This is a product which has made it all the way to the UK, where it can often be seen on supermarket shelves alongside the Tsingtao, Cobra and Tiger – its value (and absurd price) deriving from the association with its exotic country of origin. Having said that, it is not a beer which should be dismissed as a gimmick. In Japan (and in Osaka particularly) it is totally ubiquitous. One of the easiest ways for a foreigner, who can’t read kanji, to identify a bar at a distance is the inevitable poster outside advertising that their Asahi Super Dry is only 500円. Like Carlsberg or Fosters in the UK, no-one goes out of their way to seek the rare flavour of Asahi – it’s everywhere. Unlike Carlsberg and Fosters, it’s not a terrible beer.

The taste certainly is dry. Not bone dry, but noticeably different from the Kirin Classic. UK residents may notice in the name a strange similarity with a popular clothing brand. SuperDry clothes are, of course, British. The nonsensical Japanese they are adorned with is apparently a clever joke at the expense of the Engrish you see on Japanese clothes. Though it pains me to say it of a large corporation – especially one in the fashion industry – it’s a pretty good joke. Well done. Even better considering that most people wearing it don’t realise that the language is mangled, or if they do they don’t understand why. Everyone has seen the pictures (if not, just google ‘engrish’) so the only example I’ll give is that on my very first day in Japan I saw a lady wearing a T-shirt urging people to “SAVE MORE FOODS.” SuperDry simply parodies this.

Nevertheless, in spite of the Japanese-style branding, SuperDry clothes have nothing to do with Asahi, other than what I believe is an ongoing legal dispute over that very name (hint: the beer is older). To return to the point: it’s a dry lager with a pleasant colour and a reasonable, if rather typical flavour. If you like lager then buy one when it’s on offer in your local supermarket. Don’t expect new worlds of taste to be revealed though.

Please also note the Hanshin Tigers sponsorship emblem. There was no bias in this entry.

フレ！！フレ！フレ！フレー！Go! Go go go!